Coming to Terms with My Faith

**Trigger Warning**: Depression, Suicidal Thoughts

Before I began my transition I wasn’t certain that I’d be able to keep my faith, and be who I am supposed to be. Honestly, as someone who grew up in the church and actually believed in Salvation, this was devastating to me.

“I’m a sinner.” “I’m an abomination.”

Phrases like that continually ran through my mind because that was the belief that I had been taught to parrot. I truly thought that any deviation from what was considered “normal” meant that I would be forever separated from Jesus.

Depression, anxiety, fear, and anger were constants in my life. I knew that to be Transgender was to be spitting in the face of God.

It wasn’t until I had a gun in my hand ready to end my life did I wake up and realize that something had to change.

I began to examine my life and what I knew about God.

1 John 4:16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.

This didn’t seem to fit with what I had been taught. God was a loving God, God cared about me. Why then would I fear that He would reject me? Didn’t He create me, after all?

Why would the church be teaching its followers that the LGBT community were disgusting, and going to hell if God made us who we are? Also, why was the church preaching rejection and ostracism when they’re supposed to be shining the light of God’s truth?

1 John 3:16-18This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.

What I was reading in the bible was blowing my mind. I began to feel betrayed, lied to, and manipulated. We were supposed to be the beacon, the help, the loving, the compassionate. Instead we hated, tossed-out, condemned, and ignored.

God never desired this separation. God loves His children, and yearns for us to be in communion with Him. Instead, the church began acting like gatekeepers, picking and choosing who was allowed to worship.

Friends, we don’t need a building to pray. We don’t need pews to worship. Most importantly, we don’t need a pastor in order for us to interact with heaven.

I have reclaimed my faith- not in the constricting “stuffed in a box” form of Christianity as before, but I have been able to reconnect with what I know to be true. We are fearfully and wonderfully made- and designed with a purpose. We belong, and we are most definitely loved.

Much love to you all,

Here We Go Again…

I get a LOT of people attacking me online for bring Transgender, and I am sure that most members of the LGBTQ+ Community do as well. If youve noticed, so many of their arguments are the same! It gets tiring at times.

So… I’ve compiled a list of the most common, with my answers. I’m sure it will grow, but here is what I have so far.

1. Being Transgender goes against God’s plan.

A: God’s plan is so much bigger and more vast than we could ever comprehend. Saying that you know the mind of God, why He allows certain things to happen, and that you know the absolute right answer is not only immensely conceited of you, but shows that you do not grasp the magnitude and beauty of who God is.

2. God is Ashamed and Disgusted by the LGBTQ+ Community.

A: John 13:34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another”.

3. Being LGBTQ+ is a choice.

A: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.livescience.com/50058-being-gay-not-a-choice.html

4. God did not design you to be Transgender. It doesn’t exist.

A: Galations 3:28 “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”

5. There are only 2 sexes- XX(female) and XY(male)

A: I will quote Grace Ann, a biology teacher. “First of all, in a sexual species, you can have females be XX and males be X (insects), you can have females be ZW and males be ZZ (birds), you can have females be females because they developed in a warm environment and males be males because they developed in a cool environment (reptiles), you can have females be females because they lost a penis sword fighting contest (some flatworms), you can have males be males because they were born female, but changed sexes because the only male in their group died (parrotfish and clownfish),”…”Oh, did you mean humans? Oh ok then. You can be male because you were born female, but you have 5-alphareductase deficiency and so you grew a penis at age 12. You can be female because you have an X and a Y chromosome but you are insensitive to androgens, and so you have a female body. You can be female because you have an X and a Y chromosome but your Y is missing the SRY gene, and so you have a female body. You can be male because you have two X chromosomes, but one of your X’s HAS an SRY gene, and so you have a male body. You can be male because you have two X chromosomes- but also a Y,” she wrote. “You can be female because you have only one X chromosome at all. And you can be male because you have two X chromosomes, but your heart and brain are male. And vice – effing – versa. Don’t use science to justify your bigotry.”

6. Leviticus 18:22 & 20:13

A: Here’s the deal; not only was this book written as a way to establish a clear difference between the Israelites and their former Egyptian captors, it was written to discuss sexual purity. The form of relationship these verses are discussing are non-consensual, (i.e. slave/owner) or as pagan god-worshipping rituals. This does not in any way discuss a consenting, loving, and faithful relationship between two adult men. Also, if you choose to continue to utilize these verses, be prepared to give up shellfish, football and roasted ham, haircuts, misbehaving children(we are told to kill them) and mixed cotton clothing.

7. Romans 1:26-28

A: The Greek word Paul used is physikos, Which is often misinterpreted to mean natural. It is more closely translated to mean “the realities of nature”. Paul is concerned here with people acting in opposition to how God created them to be. If they were born a certain way (I.e. attracted to same sex) the abomination would then be to engage in a heterosexual relationship.

8. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 & 1 Timothy 1:9-10

A: These both use the same Greek word arsenokoitēs, which means male prostitute- and most scholars agree it means more specifically the prostitution of young boys. Again we see that Paul was not condemning the consensual loving relationship between two adults, but this time was attacking men having sexual relations with children.