NOTE: I have decided to write this blog post again, as it is important to me and something I feel that needs to be said. I wrote this over a year ago on my first blog, but unfortunately the blog was deleted. I apologize if you have read something of mine like this before, but I encourage you to read it if you are struggling to connect your Christianity with your Identity.
As I child I was always taught that the LGBTQA+ community was nothing more than sinners who were going to hell. I knew from a very early age (I believe around the age of 5) that I was different, that I was not a boy and that something was terribly wrong. I could not mention this to my parents though, because I was terrified about their reactions. (Hindsight: this was a good idea, they would not have accepted this)
I remember praying so hard as a child that God would change me- that I would wake up in the morning and have my body be transformed into the body of the girl that I was inside. I remember waking up and being devastated that this hadn’t happened. I would sob in secret, and be miserable wondering what was wrong with me.
Over the years I would do my best to hide it- because I was raised in a home and church body that taught me that the LGBTQA+ Community was disgusting and an abomination in the sight of God, and so I felt that in order to honor Him and obey Him I needed to be exactly what I was expected to be.
I wore a mask; I buried everything. I prayed, I sang at church, I even helped in the children’s church, but inside I was a hollow shell. I kept returning to this thought:
“If God created me (which I knew was true), and He doesn’t make mistakes, then why is the Church telling me that to be Transgender is a Sin and wrong? Why would being who I am send me to Hell and eternity without God?”
It seemed to me that there as a contradiction being taught. I decided to study on my own. If I was going to be condemned for being Transgender, I wanted to know why directly from the Bible. I started with the one truth I knew for absolute certain:
John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whosoever believes in Him Shall not Perish but have everlasting life.” This verse is so often quoted that many Christians take it for granted. I read it over and over, letting it soak in. Jesus died so that ANYONE who believes in Him will have everlasting life. There isn’t an exception- there isn’t an “everyone except that particular group” clause mentioned anywhere. This being the case, and truth, how can I be Transgender and a Christian, despite what the church is teaching?
I have conversations with other Christians all the time, mostly on social media. Most of them (probably all, who are we kidding???) will return to the book of Leviticus every time. I have been quoted Leviticus 20:13 (discusses homosexuality) more times than I can count. I am not going to lie, this verse bothered my for some time, and added to my confusion and uncertainty. However, I chose to read and study. (NOTE: I have done extensive study on this particular book of the Bible, so much that I intend to devote one of my next blog posts to it! Stay tuned)
Galatians 3:21-25 – “Is the law then against the promises of God? Certainly not! For if there had been a law given which could have given life, truly righteousness would have been by the law. But the Scripture has confined all under sin, that the promise by faith in Jesus Christ might be given to those who believe. But before faith came, we were kept under guard by the law, kept for the faith which would afterward be revealed. Therefore the law was our tutor to bring us to Christ, that we might be justified by faith. But after faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor.”
I had to read this a few times before it finally sank in. I listened to sermons in the past about the “Old Law”, and that Jesus came to Earth not only to die for our sins, but to establish the “new law” with his people! The old law was put into place to prepare the Jewish people for the arrival of Christ, it is as simple as that. The old rules and requirements were stripped away when Jesus came to restore our relationship with the Father.
John 1:17 – “For the law was given through Moses, but God’s unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ.”
Jesus came to earth to reveal to us God’s unfailing love, His compassion, and his faithfulness. No longer were we bound by the rituals or blood sacrifices as they were given to us (a necessity at the time) by Moses, but to create something new. His death, and the blood that was shed on the cross took over, and covered forever the need for such a sacrifice.
John 13:34 – “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”
This is our new commandment. This is what we are called to do- love one another. Not “judge one another”, not condemn, ostracize, belittle, or verbally abuse others because they may be challenging what we have been taught our entire lives, but to accept and love them.
I have said all of this, to make this point. I am a daughter of Jesus Christ, I am accepted and loved by Him. His sacrifice was as much for me as it was for you. He does not condemn me, and I refuse to hide who I am because it may offend people in the church. I am not the “model Christian”. I make mistakes, I am certainly not perfect. I have simply reconciled my faith with my being a Transgender woman. I am one of Christ’s children, and nothing or no one can take that away.
I still want to honor Him always with my actions. I want to love the unlovable, because I was one of those unlovable people until I accepted Christ. Maybe that is the reason that I am here, why I am going through all of this so that I can share my story, and show that God loves you no matter what you are going through. All I know for certain is that I am not forsaken, lost, or unwanted. I have a Savior who wants me, Transgender or otherwise. That, to me, is everything.